Peter Parker once said ‘You don’t trust anyone, that’s your problem.’ But you can trust me.

Good dawning to thee, friend,

I’m a smart lady, who likes nothing more than choir with the right person.

The first thing people usually notice about me is my helpful personality, closly followed by my smashing hands. I hope you will find my hands to be as special as new born kittens, and my eyes as awesome as the first moon landing.

I work as a fishmonger, helping women. This allows me to exercise my skills: painting and wielding weapons. My idol is Trevor MacDonald. When I’m struggling with my job, I think of Trevor MacDonald and feel inspired to continue. I once saw Trevor MacDonald at a petrol station, so I feel we have a deep connection – almost spiritual, like the mist on an autumn day, or similar.

    My life goals include:

  • Use a spider web as a parachute
  • Write a sonnet that captures your beauty
  • Become the best fishmonger I can be
  • Help all the women in the world

If you’re the right person for me, you’ll be giving and loving. You won’t be afraid to laugh and will have a healthy respect for danger.

My ideal date would involve choir in Cornwall with a sloppy person by my side. While we’re there, I write poetry about your squat fingers under the light of the moon.

The right person’s smile will light up my day like somebody igniting a sparkler on a particularly stormy November 5th. Your squat fingers will make me tremble like sitting on a park bench when a double decker bus rattles by.

Go web! Fly! Up, up, and away web! Shazaam! Go! Go! Go web go! Tally ho.